


Ramblings of a New Father

by cookiefonster



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Childhood Memories, F/M, Father-Son Relationship, Monologue, Parenthood, The Homestuck Epilogues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-30
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:40:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24460687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cookiefonster/pseuds/cookiefonster
Summary: A few days after his son's birth in the Candy Epilogue, John Egbert takes some time at night to say words to his new child.
Relationships: John Egbert/Roxy Lalonde
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	Ramblings of a New Father

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first proper thing that qualifies as a Homestuck fanfiction, featuring the only character that I feel like I know how to write.

A few days after his son Harry Anderson's birth, John Egbert takes some time late at night to talk to his baby, or rather talk to himself in his baby's presence, while his wife Roxy is asleep. John stands next to the crib in which his son is using his tiny hands and feet to fondle a variety of toys Roxy had laid across the crib.

JOHN: i guess today it's my turn to spend time with you, harry anderson.   
JOHN: roxy has been doing it a lot these past few days, she's really into being a mom.   
JOHN: which isn't surprising, she was like that with rose in the universe i was born in.   
JOHN: it's kind of weird though, because i always just thought of her as roxy, not rose's younger mom or anything like that.   
JOHN: but it's only fair that i also stick up to my duty as a dad.   
JOHN: i've always wanted to have a son to call my own, like my dad did with me, but it seemed like a far away dream for so long. then i guess it just suddenly happened, kind of like i thought things would go when i was a kid.   
JOHN: i still think it's strange that roxy broke off her weird relationship with calliope to be with me, but i'm glad you were born and i wouldn't ever want to undo that.  


While Roxy has spent a large portion of the past few days cradling Harry Anderson in her arms, John has been afraid to lay a finger on their delicate newborn son, so he remains a few feet outside the crib while he examines his son with his eyes. Harry Anderson has blue eyes of a lighter shade than his father's and has the same abnormally sized front teeth, but otherwise exhibits facial features and a general demeanor resembling his mother, at least insofar as babies can have a general demeanor. 

JOHN: you know...   
JOHN: you really look a lot like roxy, harry anderson.   
JOHN: probably a bit more than you look like me!   
JOHN: i don't know how i can already tell you do when you were just born a few days ago, but i guess i just can.   
JOHN: it sort of reminds me of when i was in an ectobiology lab and created myself and my friends, and also roxy and her friends, i think.   
JOHN: they were all a bunch of babies, but somehow i could tell right away which one was which.   
JOHN: wait, actually i think it was technically a weird mutant cat who pressed the button that created us?   
JOHN: so i guess i can't take that much credit for it all. not that i really could in the first place.   
JOHN: i still remember having baby roxy, or i guess baby rose's mom as i knew her back then, play the role of my wife in a con air reenactment?   
JOHN: i don't think i really cared who played which role back then, because i was just a dumb kid obsessed with nic cage, but it's kind of funny looking back now, haha.   
JOHN: anyway, maybe those memories are why it felt so weird for me and roxy to give birth to a baby the regular way?   
JOHN: i think my dad must have also been born the regular way, but i guess i'll never know what it was like for him as a kid.   
JOHN: nanna told me some stories about him before, but they mostly involved pranks, which makes sense, i guess.   


John thinks about his friends, one by one. He doesn't normally like to think about the genetic relations between his friends, but Roxy had not long ago brought up the idea of introducing Dave and Rose and all the others as Harry Anderson's aunts and uncles. 

JOHN: now that i think about it, harry anderson...   
JOHN: you're going to have so many cool relatives you'll get to know as you grow up! way more than i did. i'm almost a little jealous.   
JOHN: i never had any uncles or aunts as a kid, or even a mom. i just had my dad, and my nanna and her legendary prankster grandpa, who both died before i was born.   
JOHN: i only really knew them from books that i read a lot as a kid, until nanna came back as a sprite, and even then, i'm not sure how much i thought of her as a regular family member.   
JOHN: but you're going to have all these cool aunts and uncles who were my friends growing up! there's rose and kanaya, and dave and jade, and also, uh...   
JOHN: ok, i don't think karkat counts as an uncle, because he isn't married to any of us, but he's a great guy, you'll like him.   
JOHN: i just hope he and dave can make up. they probably will, he just gets a little cranky sometimes, but he always means it well.   
JOHN: oh yeah, there's also jake, you'll like him too.   
JOHN: but then there's jane and, uh...   


John is profoundly uncomfortable with how Jane has changed over the years, and has tried to tell Roxy to no avail that he's completely disgusted by her affair with Gamzee. The last time he brought up Jane and Gamzee, Roxy just laughed and tried to convince him everything was going to be OK. It's not a matter to concern himself with now though, not when spending quality time with his newborn son. 

JOHN: oh god, never mind. forget i mentioned her. you're going to be a great kid, i just know you will.   
JOHN: now that i think about it, when i was little, i think i saw the original harry anderson the same way i saw my nanna and her grandpa?   
JOHN: like as a long lost relative who graced the world with the most legendary comedy humanity has ever witnessed.   
JOHN: i'm still surprised roxy didn't have any ideas for what to name you!   
JOHN: wait, i don't think i should call her roxy. i should call her "your mother" now instead.   
JOHN: that feels a little weird, but i'm sure i'll get used to it.   
JOHN: i wonder why your mother just went ahead and agreed with my idea to name you harry anderson. i was so sure she'd laugh at me!   
JOHN: not that i can complain about it, harry anderson is the absolute best.   
JOHN: maybe your mother watched some of my favorite movies too? i think she joined us in watching con air during my 17th birthday party, and maybe she watched more movies with calliope?   
JOHN: wait, i think i remember jane told me once, before she went all crazy, that in the universe she came from, her poppop played the lead role in night court.   
JOHN: harry anderson didn't turn out to be as good an actor as he did, or i guess as i did, so he became a detective instead?   
JOHN: that's so weird to think about, but i shouldn't be surprised such a legend like him could also find success as a detective.   
JOHN: i always forget i had a grown up version in the scratched universe. i know dave talks a lot about his adult self who made the sweet bro and hella jeff movies, and i'm sure rose has lots to say about canon and alternate selves regarding hers.   
JOHN: but my grown up self who raised jane's dad doesn't even feel real, or at least not like me. he was just an old actor who happened to have the same dna as me.   
JOHN: it's no matter, harry anderson. in this universe, you aren't my detective rival or anything, you're just my son. and i think i like it best that way.   


If Roxy were with him right now, she'd no doubt have phrased this a lot more eloquently, ending with a reminder of how deeply she loves John. John internally blushes a bit, still a little weirded out by how strongly she has apparently always felt about him. 

JOHN: man, i'm tired. i really need to go to bed.   
JOHN: you should too, harry anderson!   
JOHN: ...   
JOHN: well, it looks like you've already fallen asleep, so that's taken care of.   
JOHN: good night!   


John shuts off the light and walks into his and Roxy's bedroom, so that the entire Egbert household is now asleep.

  



End file.
